This song is for all of you who are part of my life. Thinking back on better days is a skill. There also is a fine line between going back and looking around, and staying there.
I had just turned 9 years old When my Dad took me to 31 Flavors, (the one by Beaverton Mall). I got a Matterhorn and he picked a chocolate cone. He looked at me and tried to tell me he had to go away, and that he wouldn’t be coming home, I didn’t understand what he was saying. I soon realized the truth in what his words meant.
At 9 years old, I was alone with my four shell-shocked brothers and sisters in a huge, cold, and dark house on Lynnridge Drive in Cedar Hills. My angry, mentally ill, unhinged mother parked our baby blue Ford station wagon diagonally across the long gravel driveway blocking the phantom perpetrator from getting in. Who was trying to get in?
My mother found the blueprints to the house in a crawl space, and immediately drew connections that we were being stalked. Who was stalking us?
Betty also made it clear we would never see my Dad again, she was partially right.
At around the same time frame 1979 - 1980 we moved to Oak Hills. David J. our realtor, who helped us with our painful transition to our new house on Perimeter Drive, had become Jesus Christ in my Mom’s eyes and disappeared in an instant.
I was 10 years old trying to take on all of the adult duties. My Mom was flat on her back. I remember moving our stuff out of the U-Haul. Feeling confident, I put our Curtis Mathis console TV on the furniture dolly and strapped it down. It was far too heavy for my skinny little self to walk down the ramp, but I tried anyway, besides, who was going to help me now, it was all up to me. It ended up smashed at the bottom of the metal truck ramp much like my soul.
New schools, new bullies, new friends, new girls, new fears, no Dad.
Growing up in a house with a willfully untreated mentally ill mother was no easy endeavor. The way to know where/ who she was at any given moment was to look in her eyes. That told you what to talk about and what NOT to bring up. I got really good at reading eyes.
This song is for you!
To my kids Brennan, Ella, Amelia, and Remi. This song is for you.♥️
To Joe S, this song is for you!
To my wife Meredith for being honest and through tears coming up with the song title, thank you!♥️
It’s ok to look in back. It’s ok to think back on better days. It’s ok to put your rose colored glasses on.
Life just gets more complicated the longer you live it. I know some of you are tired. I know that some of you feel like the life you have now isn’t what you imagined it would be. I also know that some of you are totally happy and content with your life, no complaints.
After losing my sister Lori a couple of years ago, everything changed for me. My child-like view of death / mortality changed in an instant. The veil was pulled back and I saw it for what it IS. Time isn’t a measure for me because I feel like I don’t have any more.
Lori always thought I could do more with my music. She thought that I had put it away and didn’t see the potential. I didn’t know that Lori thought that about me. I wasn’t listening.
When the dreaded call came that they had no brain activity and they were going pull Lori off of life support, one of Lori’s dear friend’s told Meredith what Lori thought of me and my calling. Everything changed.
The relationship between Lori and I was strained when she passed. It was strained because of a disagreement. I always thought there would be more time.
Love everyone and everything in your life. Be Loving Awareness, and remember to put your rose colored glasses on.

Love you all,

Jon Link - J-Mer